You know how blog posts are supposed to be spaced out? Like for me its supposed to be up when one video is done?
Yea so I haven't been doing that, and here I am cramming 3 blogposts to review the year, and these 3 could have been done LAST WEEK!
Well, at least the first two.。
I've been here on my seat for the whole morning, and looks like its gonna take till dinner until I'm done with some reflections and what not!
It's a long post. Let's go~
To be honest, I really can't remember all the details of events taken place through the past 10 years... all I know is that 10 years is really really long. 10 years ago I just started high school. And honestly didn't know what I wanted to do. All I knew back then was to study hard, and make sure I get my As since I didn't get my all A's during UPSR. Well, turns out fate was rather kind to me as I soared through Form 1 and 3 during PMR, and didn't have to attend tuition at all =)
Well then came Form 4, which I nearly experienced my first F for Sejarah!! OOOPSie! And damn I remember struggling with Add Maths. Haha, that was when I started attending tuition for Chemistry, Physics, and Add Maths~
Well... if i wanna continue on with all these academic stuff, its really gonna get boring even for me... Let's try thinking of NON ACADEMIC achievements.
I believe it was 10 years ago that I decided to pick up piano again! Along the way I tried picking up guitar, but couldn't feel the passion for it as I had for piano. Then I tried going into the KPop fandom... Hmmm... not exactly sure if its worth talking about it.. OH, but the one item that has been sooo valuable to me till this day, is the day I started watching anime seriously about 4 years ago.
I feel that anime has played a really huge part in my growing as a person. You know the saying "meet someone who can build you to more than who you are" or something similar? I've learnt more from anime about character building more than I have learnt from other people. My parents taught me well, my friends have been by my side, but friends dont necessarily have to contribute to your growth do they? Some you meet, you become friends because of interest, while some be friends with you because of how you changed because of them, both good and bad ways.
My time with anime isn't as long as my time with the friends I grew up with. But anime gave me the pinch I needed that nobody else could have given. I was at a stage where I was being clingy, I had no courage, I had no strength to be alone, couldn't stand my ground, and was generally considered a loser. I wasn't a bad student, I wasn't one of the more famous ones, and I sure wasn't the strongest in leadership. In fact I think I sucked at it. I failed to lead a team once. But I was given the honor to lead one alongside a figure I still consider my role model to this day. He led by example, and I followed in his leadership. Together we led a team of scouts, and I dare say we were thriving under his leadership. I grew a bit more courageous through my time with him, and I honor my growth to him as well. But, we didn't stay together after graduation. We had different paths, and went our separate ways. I did my best to keep his teachings and develop my own set of skills that perhaps I could be proud to call them my own. But little did I know, I was not doing it right. I was very passive and I wasn't prepared at all to face the next stage of life. In the end, I fell hard due to my ignorance and my own weaknesses. I was WEAK.
Anime was the catalyst that started my next character development. Time as well. In my lowest, I shunned all invitation from friends to meet up, probably wanted to stay away from people, went back to my instrument to keep practicing because I didn't want to give myself time to think of the bad things that had happened. I needed a distraction. My exam pieces were there, and so was anime.
I learnt that anime is so much more than just Japanese animation. Because they're aren't using real faces of people/actors, you get to observe them from a more objective point of view, and you realize what characters you can relate to. I could be wrong here, but that was what I felt. I felt I suddenly saw my weaknesses portrayed in a character, and when the character suddenly "grew up" and started facing the challenges ahead, I felt so deeply moved that I promised myself to change. Simply because staying where I was personality wise was not going to help me at all. And the only thing I could reference to was anime.
And I kept watching. Everyday. An episode or two a day. And I fell in love with anime music. So much so that I am now fairly disgusted by K-Pop band songs and English Pop songs that are so laden with sexual innuendos and have nothing more to express but heartbreak, love songs and all the goojybooboo.
You know what anime and their songs are about? They are about how you fight for your dreams. How you fight for what you believe in. How you give your heart in everything you do. How in this world nobody is ever right or wrong. How you cherish your loved ones. How you cherish your childhood friends. How you enjoy every single thing in life, big or small, because your life is worth a story to tell. How not to give up no matter how painful it is. How to smile under all situations.... and so much more....
I don't think anime was a foreign thing to me. It was just that when I first watched the olden anime like Dragon Ball, Slam Dunk, Yu Yu Hakusho, Law of Ueki etc... I didn't realize how flawed I would be in the future. Then in my high school days, I totally forgotten about anime, and somehow got by with playing Pokemon games haha. I didn't know how to appreciate the lessons in anime at that point in time. It wasn't until I was slightly older that I could understand, and relate to the story, and how everything about anime is just so good.
I'm no anime connoisseur, but I have my fair share of anime to call myself a "weeb" already. Enough as well to devote my life to playing anime songs, sharing them on YouTube. And wanting to claim back what my courage-less self cost me those years ago: a significant success in YouTube.
Another worthy mention of this decade is my advancement into YouTube. I was led by my mentor, Ray Mak, and I have been in this for about 4 years now. Well, I'm still far from any significant achievement, and I think its really far still for me to achieve my success in YouTube.
You see, perhaps I'm not charismatic enough to go up to even my friends and ask for their subscription... not in this industry of anime piano. We already have a God of Anime Piano, and the rest of us are just followers in his footsteps, trying to achieve what little attention is left for us. For me, I honestly wish to improve, yet I also understand that perhaps it is my being as a whole that is just not refined yet... and as such i require a lot of time to make a video. I want to make sure that my pieces are amazing, yet also playable by all.
I'm no prodigy. Heck i think that's obvious. Everything I do takes time, and if I want to make more amazing pieces, it takes even more time! So its a constant battle of decision to go for simple playable, or amazing playable... And till this day, I wonder what my followers actually categorize me as...
I honestly don't want to be just a YouTuber... I want to be my own YouTuber. I want people to benefit from my sheets, and I'd definitely wish to be an icon that people will know online... Getting that 100k Subscriber Trophy is my goal in YouTube. Sure, perhaps this sounds very common, everyone on YouTube says it. But I wish to set myself apart from those people. I do not want to join in the crowd that goes onto YouTube and does things to impress others with nothing of value.
So perhaps, a question worthy to ask myself is: What sets me apart from others?
I want to give value, and I take time to make sure my sheets are as accurate as possible. There are still areas for improvement, and I continuously strive to improve that 1% everyday.
It's no secret that I want that trophy.
I want it.
I want it bad.
I want it honorably.
I want it respectably.
Not through some sub4sub means. I want it through my hardwork, my practice, and my discipline to produce material every month, and to continue to improve my quality of play and videos so that I am the undisputed worthy one to claim that trophy. I want to prove my worth. And anime has imbued in me the sense of appreciation for good music, skillful expression, and unrelenting pursuit for it. And I wish to honor it.
So friends, if you haven't yet felt the sense of loss and regret (in mandarin its called 很可惜的感觉）, then I wish you wouldn't have to feel it ever. I have tasted it slightly, and let me tell you its very, very bitter. I will continue on this road into the new decade, knowing that things will start being very different. Extremely different.
And friends, I wish you all a good year ahead. If you haven't yet subscribed to my channel, do let me know how else I can improve. I can only work so much on my own. If you have subscribed to my channel, I also wish to know what sort of music appeals to you, so that I may enjoy it as well. Know that every subscription is a great motivation for me, and it helps build towards my goal. I wish that you, who have subscribed to my channel, to be sincerely supporting my pursuit, if not, please unsubscribe. I need less of people who play false-friends. If you haven't, then I wish to prove my worth, that I'd be worthy of your subscription =)
My pursuit, my character, and my personality, have all gone through amazing changes thanks to anime and YouTube. Without them, I believe my character would be very, very different. If any of my friends read till this end point, thank you for taking your time to understand the changes that I've undergone in the past decade. Thank you anime, and anime music, for transforming my life, and I resolve that in the new year and the new decade, I will work towards my goals, with new plans, and gratefully a new strategy to achieve them all.
The anime that have transformed me at my lowest are below, not ranked in any particular order:
1. One Punch Man - Taught me discipline
2. Attack on Titan - Taught me to fight for your dreams no matter how scared you are
3. Tokyo Ghoul - Taught me to never give up no matter how painful it is
4. Guilty Crown - Showed me that anime music triumphs everything else
5. Your Lie in April - Taught me the beauty of practicing, and the beauty of anime music.
Those will always be the most influential anime to me.
As a special mention, the Best Drama that I've watched is Angel's Last Mission Love
Damn that drama legit got me hooked in no time. Like seriously. If you watch K dramas often, you have got to watch that. It's seriously good. Feels all over.... For a non-anime material to be mentioned, it only means that it really left an impression on me. Damn.. I miss watching it...
Thank you anime. Thank you friends. May 2020 be a life-changing year for the better for all of us.
To the new year: I Will Write My Own Destiny.
The video corresponding to this post is the Synthesia Tutorial for Jay Chou's I Truly Believe 我如此相信。
Subscribe if you haven't ya! I spend a lot of time doing 3 posts today when I should be studying for my papers!!! DXXX ples help meeeee
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